firebird
Elizabeth Li
three-blade razor runs along
rash-red skin
dipping and gliding across every curve of flesh
a baptism
my skin itches
i become clean
you caress my bare arm, pearly and smooth after
days of religious application
of aloe vera
“babe,” you murmur in my ear: baby, your baby
soft and smooth as an infant
your beard prickles my neck as you
run kisses along my jaw
midnight party
you parade me around in front of your friends, men who ogle at
my legs and hips, to whom i bat my eyes
and pucker my lips
and blink demurely in delicate deference
you put your arms around my waist
but i feel Myself slipping away
reduced to flesh and curves under their eyes
and my skin crawls with maggots and spiders
and my smile turns childlike and wondrous and empty
and i flee inwards
and i flee
and i flee
you want to stroke my hair then
throw me around in bed
coo in my ear then
press your hands around my neck
and when i push you away you tell me i want you
that i like it
that you like it when i’m feisty, your little firebird, your little
toy, your pearly little doll, smooth and porcelain
might as well be plastic
better to be made of plastic.
young Dolores spreads her legs,
and how quickly we forget the tragedy to instead
fixate on the alluring innocence in her eyes, the submissive slant to her shoulders, the
infantilized bareness of her calves and
nick ourselves a thousand times
to try and look the same
what if i became a real firebird? not this duckling you dressed in pretty colours
but rather a wild thing ablaze in my own incandescence, free
to grow hair and feathers from my arms
to prick your roving hands
as you try and conquer
this body that is no longer yours, no longer
easy to conquer. nibble my earlobe again and i will tear
your throat out with my teeth.
Elizabeth Li has been previously been published by the Aurora Journal as well as Cathartic Lit. She has also been selected to attend the 2021 Kenyon Young Writers’ Workshop and the Virginia Young Writers Workshop. Furthermore, she has published a chapbook titled “anatomy of wonderland” through Bottlecap Press, which was also a semifinalist in the 2022 Sundress Chapbook Contest.